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  • Writer's pictureJoan Claire Gilbert

Make Agreements, But First Observe Who You're Being

"The more expectations you have of people you care about, the more anxious, fearful, and depressed you will be when it comes to your family." 

This is a paraphrased quote from Steve Chandler in one of his most widely known audios, Expectation vs Agreement.

The same goes for your work relationships, with your colleagues.

Are you "expecting" your colleagues to do things for you or your team? 

How does that generally work out for everyone involved?

Do YOU like to have things expected of you?

Lesson: Wherever possible, create clear and specific agreements; don't rely on expectations or you will be:

1. unimpressed 

2. sorely disappointed, angry, or even feel betrayed.

At the same time, I know that when I am coming from a more loving, supportive, and curious state (and less of a fearful state) with my husband, the things I would "hope for" tend to just happen automatically. 

Have you noticed that with your partner too?

He goes out of his way to do and say things that, added up, make my day and bring us closer together.

They also help us be more effective in running our household.

When you come from a place of support, being for your colleagues' success, acknowledging them in meaningful ways and not trying to control or manipulate them, don't you find that they perform better and trust increases?

If we always come from love, support, and appreciation for others, they show up differently.

Agreement-making then becomes more fun, creative, and effective. 

So don't rely on expectations, but also don't "expect" your agreements to stick or be as effective, if you're coming from fear, lack, and control.


Message me if you'd like me to send you the audio by Steve Chandler. It's worth a (re)listen, for both your family and work relationships!

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